I have a genetic condition, Marfan Syndrome, and my Mum who also has it has always been very open with me about what it means for me, especially when it comes to having children. If I was with someone who doesn't have a condition the odds of passing it on would be 50/50, however I am now with someone with also has the condition. This means that there is a 50% chance we would pass it on, a 25% chance we wouldn't and a 25% chance that the baby would not even survive, not the best odds! Even with just the 50/50 odds when I was younger this was enough for me to make the decision to not have children. Marfan is not a nice condition and I don't want to pass it on, also after all my own health problems I'm not sure pregnancy would even be a wise thing to put myself through. I just want to say as well if you have a genetic condition and choose to have children then I am not putting you down or judging you, this is totally a personal thing and I would never hate my Mum for choosing to have children and therefore passing the condition on to me. I see people time and time again in online support groups arguing over this topic but when it comes down to it it's the individual's decision and only really their doctor can advise them or tell them what would be a good or bad decision.
I hope people would agree that this is a decision that I haven't made lightly and I think it is quite a wise decision, well like I said I can hope. Unfortunately thanks to societies idea that all women must have children because that's what we are on this earth to do I've come across some pretty ignorant people, including close family. I've been told countless times that I will change my mind because it is such a foreign idea to people that a woman would not want children, plus add in my age when I made this decision, people thought it was a phase. I'd like to say this changed when I turned 18 but sadly not, people still tell me I'll change my mind and I've even had people tell me I'll live my life alone if I don't want children as no man would ever want me, delightful! Even when people do seem to understand as my decision is mainly medical they try and offer me 'solutions' such as having IVF gene selection where specialists check the genes of an embryo before implantation so someone can pick an embryo that does not have the genetic condition. This is never something I've personally felt comfortable with though and I wonder why people cannot just listen to me and accept my decision.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is totally okay to decide that you don't want children, even if like me you make that decision quite young. Also though you're allowed to change your mind because funnily enough your body is your body and therefore it is only your decision about what you do with it. For me the decision is mainly a medical one but also I've never felt maternal in anyway which again is a difficult thing for some people (mainly men in my personal experience) to get their head round. I am no less of a woman just because I choose not to have children and hopefully one day more people will understand this.
I'm not sure what the aim of this post is really, I just wanted to talk a little about this as it's something that has come up in the media recently. I've wanted to talk about it for a while and I guess just let people know that whatever decision they make about having children is okay!
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